Salutations! I'd ask how you are doing on this fine May evening, but since no answer would likely be forthcoming, I see no real point. So forgive me if I tend to dwell on myself in this conversation, rather than you or the two of us. I know it might seem a bit self-centered to ramble on about myself for an entire post, but I feel it is proper that I introduce myself and attempt to give you the key points of my personality and psyche before our relationship goes any further. I mean, it would hardly be decent of me to lead you on for an entire post without giving you any clue as to my character. What if you reached the end and found that you gained nothing interesting from our whole interaction? You would be right to feel a bit put out that you spent so much time reading this meandering paragraph and ended up no better off from the experience.
You may know me already, from school perhaps or some other place, but more likely you are one of my family members humoring me by reading this drivel (if so, extra bonus points, you will be portrayed well in my posts). Things to keep in mind as you read my blog (if you ever make it past this first post): I will generally be writing these after working 10 hour shifts in the Scenic Painting Studio and so will probably not make any sense or take myself too seriously or not seriously enough, my grammar is atrocious and if it weren't for spell check I would hardly be able to communicate with you so please be forgiving (also keep in mind those 10 hour days), I harbor an intense dislike of chocolate covered pretzels, and I never actually talk/sound/write as pretentiously as this (it was funny at the beginning, now its hard to keep it up).
Now I have a talent for making myself look ridiculous (watch my youtube videos if you don't believe me), and this post wouldn't be complete without me telling you the MEEBLOTT FAIL OF THE DAY!
Today's fail occurred at approximately 6:40 something pm, in the Paint shop. I was bustling about, cleaning up so that I could bolt for the door when we closed at 7:00. Part of my clean up routine involves making sure that all the paint is closed properly. A reasonable task, dry paint never helped anyone (that I know of), and an easy one. Even an imbecile can bludgeon a paint can with a hammer a few times to make sure it is closed. Well, earlier I had tried to be clever and put some of the paints away on a high shelf (where they belonged) to save myself time later. As I stalked around the shop in search of open cans I spied the paints on the top shelf (naturally having forgotten my earlier cleverness) and realized that they were not closed properly. Elated at the prospect of hitting more things with my hammer, I rushed over and went to grab a can of paint. Now this particular can was filled with a color called Burnt Sienna. If you are not familiar with paint colors (lucky you) this particular variety is a vibrant red-brown color, rather like an old brick. It is so potent that we generally water it down so that it doesn't overpower the other colors on a set piece. Ever the clever one, I carelessly grabbed the handle of the paint can and yanked it towards me, since I could barely reach it, in order to beat it into submission on the floor. As I did so, the can tipped over, drenching me nearly head to toe in Burnt Sienna before falling and hitting my shoulder. Luckily my hair was mostly spared, although one of my thick, blonde braids was completely soaked.
Mercifully my supervisor was not in the room, so I scrambled around attempting to clean up the huge puddle of paint, and wash my braid so that he wouldn't notice my...incident, since he loves to poke fun at me. I barely got it all mopped up when he cam back. I stood nonchalantly at the sink, as if nothing had happened. We had a brief conversation, said goodbye, and as I walked triumphantly out the door, satisfied that I had managed to avoid giving him ammunition for our next verbal sparring match (him making clever remarks about anything and everything I have ever done or said vs. me making lame jokes about his age, I think we know who the real winner is), I realized that I had missed a large splash of paint on my forehead and had somehow managed to smear a bunch of it around the rest of my face. Needless to say I expect to be mocked mercilessly about this for quite some time.
Never be afraid to fail, because chances are I've done the same thing, but in a way more spectacularly terrible way.
If you liked this, check out my webcomic. The link should be attached to this somehow. Its about me, my family and friends, and all the ridiculous things that happen to me (with minor embellishments, of course).
